How To Build Community

Going outside of your comfort zone, ways to create community irl, and why Substack is the best online community

I wanted to write about something a little different as I’m reflecting on 2024, a goal I made that’s infinitely changed my life for the better. I’ll be back next week with how I’m approaching sustainable fashion in 2025.

In the last ten years I’ve moved twice to places where I didn’t know anyone other than the person that I moved with. The first time was to a city that’s known for politely freezing out newcomers and the second time was to a city that revolves around not-fashion, which made it harder to find common interests as someone who could talk about personal style and fashion all day. I’m an extroverted introvert that loves the energy of a big city and meeting new people, but building a social network from scratch felt like a mystery that I couldn’t quite unlock. One that got harder to overcome during the pandemic when so many of our daily interactions moved online and still haven’t quite bounced back irl.

Something that gave me the push that I needed to make meaningful connections was starting my graduate program last year. I went in not knowing anyone and have come out with an amazing group of close friends. It’s been a timely reminder that building community means stepping outside of my comfort zone. Instead of waiting for people to text me or going to events with someone else as a buffer, I’m the one reaching out first and going to things by myself. In the beginning it felt intimidating, but it’s gotten easier every time I do it.

I wanted to share some of the ways that I’ve built community in the last year to help anyone with a goal to make new friends or create more meaningful connections in 2025. The important thing is to get started, even when it’s uncomfortable (because if you’re doing it right it’s going to feel uncomfortable at some point). Taking the first step is the hardest part, but as you grow your confidence it will all flow from there.

How To Create Community IRL

Volunteering

• Background: I’ve volunteered at the same dog rescue for eight years and just started making friends in the past couple of years. The good thing about volunteering is that there’s usually a core group of people that you get to know better every week. The tough thing is that people move, change shifts, or can’t always commit to a regular schedule which can make it slightly more challenging to make friends.

• What did I do? I started by creating a group chat with the people that I’ve volunteered with over the last two years, then asked if anyone wanted to grab coffee after a volunteer shift, then recently started a girl’s night, then asked people out for coffee again.

• Going outside of my comfort zone: Creating the group chat and being the first one to extend a social invite (what if no one was interested?). But I’m so glad I did since people were interested and I’ve loved making new friends in this group. I’m hopeful to make monthly girl’s nights and weekly coffee a thing in 2025.

• What you can do: When I tell people that I volunteer at a dog rescue, 99% of the time the other person says they love dogs but can’t volunteer at a rescue because they’d want to bring every dog home. While there is a chance you’ll foster or even adopt a dog (thank you - you’re making a huge difference by doing this), I promise that you won’t bring every dog home, your local shelter is likely underfunded and would greatly appreciate the help, and it will be a deeply rewarding experience with the bonus of making friendships. If dogs aren’t your thing, there are a plethora of volunteering opportunities in your area that might speak to your interests.

My sweet foster dog whose biggest joy in life was jumping in laundry baskets full of warm blankets.

Clubs & Organizations

• Background: I wanted to get more involved in my MBA program, make friends outside of the classroom, and strengthen my public speaking skills.

• What did I do? I started by attending meetings for my school’s public speaking club, then branched out to join two other clubs as a member, then joined the leadership team for two clubs this year.

• Going outside of my comfort zone: I participated in every meeting, especially ones where the public speaking prompts were outside of my comfort zone. This was such a great, supportive experience that it inspired me to join the executive team for two clubs this year where I made even better friendships and honed my leadership skills outside of work.

• What you can do: Organizations like Toastmasters, silent book clubs, local women’s meetups, and running/hiking/walking clubs are fantastic places to start if you’re not in a school setting.

Love a chic group of friends on a Paris trip. Photo: @amaka.hamelijnck.

Networking Events

• Background: I graduate this May and am excited to make personal and professional relationships in the sustainable fashion tech sector.

• What did I do? I started by attending networking and speaker events at school, then reached out to people with interesting backgrounds on LinkedIn for informational interviews, then started attending non-school networking events with the goal of going to least three by myself this fall.

• Going outside of my comfort zone: Going to networking events alone (!) where I didn’t know anyone (!) and didn’t have a background in the topic of discussion (so much AI). I went to my third solo networking event last week and it’s getting easier every time on all fronts.

• What you can do: I signed up for the Lu.ma events calendar in my city, but there’s also Eventbrite and if you live in London or New York, Vogue Business hosts in-person member events.

A photo by the extraordinarily talented fashion photographer @melodiejeng, who’s also a champion for rescue dogs.

Coworking Spaces

• Background: I was recently given the opportunity to spend the day at a coworking space for the climate community, courtesy of a kind friend who hosted this through her school program’s green club.

• What did I do? This coworking space offers student memberships and I plan to sign up in January with the goal of going 2-3 times a week. They also host climate-education events that I’m eager to attend on a monthly basis.

• Going outside of my comfort zone: This already feels less intimidating, but talking to at least one person I don’t know every day and sitting at the social table to learn about projects that other people are working on.

• What you can do: Tour your local coworking space to see if it’s the right fit for you, sit at a communal table at your neighborhood coffee shop, or work from your local library.

Aesthetically preparing myself to become a regular at the communal table in my neighborhood coffee shop this year. Photo: @holliemercedes.

Substack

• Background: I started my Substack this September for a school innovation project. My class just ended, but I’m going to continue with my newsletter since I love the Substack community and writing about responsible fashion.

• What did I do? As part of my project research, I reached out to fashion Substack writers that I admired to learn more about their individual Substack journeys.

  Kelly Williams
  ,
  Anika
  , and
  Molly
  thank you for sharing your incredibly valuable insights - it was a phenomenal learning experience to speak with each of you. And a big thanks to
  Rachel Arthur
  for hosting student office hours where sustainable fashion education and networking were equally balanced.

• Going outside of my comfort zone: It felt a little awkward to slide into dm’s, but everyone was extremely kind and supportive, truly embodying the community spirit of Substack.

• What you can do: If you enjoy someone’s work, let them know! Comment, heart, share, restack, etc. Connect with other writers that dm you, especially those that are new to Substack, or send a dm to writers whose work resonates with you. Be a resource in your Substack community by answering questions or offering support in the chats.

  Hey Mrs. Solomon on Style
  and
  Kelly Williams
  are especially amazing at fostering community and lifting up other writers - I aspire to be even half as warm and welcoming as Rachel and Kelly.

I’ve been following @danni___duncan for years and admire the community she’s built, which recently included challenging herself to make new friends.

Things I’m Thinking About for 2025

From least to most intimidating:

• Making more time to support other writers on Substack - especially restacking posts to share with the wider community since I’ve found some of my favorite newsletters this way

• Reaching out to more people on LinkedIn and Substack to learn about their career journeys

• Setting up regular digital dates with non-local friends that I’ve met through LinkedIn and Substack

• Going to a networking event with the goal of walking up to a group of people I don’t know and introducing myself

• Creating a casual Substack meetup in my city

• Taking a solo or group trip to celebrate my graduation

• Hosting at least one sustainable fashion tech meetup in my area

• Showing my face on my Substack (somehow this one feels the most intimidating)

A Book Rec

• Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: An Introvert's Year of Living Dangerously by

  Jess Pan
  chronicles her goal to live like an extrovert for one year. I loved this book and reading it started me down the path of being open to taking risks to expand my social circle. Jess is inspiring me to do things that I’d normally avoid, like taking an improv class or solo trip one day. This book is on my list to reread in January.

One Last Thing…

A shout-out to my friends Claudia, Vicky, Laura, Suzie, Melody, Holley, Maddie, Robyn, and Yash. I’m so fortunate to have you in my life and your support has made all the difference in the last few months. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

That’s it for this week, thanks for reading! If you have a 2025 goal to expand your community, I’d love to hear more. And please comment below or slide into my dm’s if you want to chat about sustainable fashion because I could talk about this alllll day long.